March 21, 2013

The Messy, the Ugly, and Watching the Sun Rise

The Messy, the Ugly, and Watching the Sun Rise

March 21, 2013

Hi! How are you today? I hope you’re well. I really do. I know I don’t ask you enough :-/

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while you might remember a post called The Pretty & The Ugly from last summer. All week I’ve felt like I really need to post a part two to that…but I don’t have a lot of “pretty” in my real life to post. Even for a minute for a posed photo. It’s just messy everywhere! Last monday was my first full time working for myself from home day. As new things go, I’m not very good at working from home by myself yet. We moved all of Wil’s music gear to the basement and my desk upstairs so now I have an “office” but really it’s a total mess and half the time I’ve been working from the couch. I’ve been staying up late and sleeping in (until eight). I had quite a few people I wanted to catch up with and spend some day time with now that I have day time availability so the past week and a half has literally flown by. I’ve made three trips to Home Depot so far. It’s getting kind of ridiculous. I knew this week that I couldn’t continue like last week…but I just wasn’t sure where I was going wrong. I definitely don’t have all the answers yet, but I’m taking one step that feels very much like the right direction.

Over laughter, tea, and tears with my beautiful friend Ashley on Tuesday I realized I hadn’t been setting aside a quiet time. Sure I’d still read most days…but it had felt rushed after posting my blog post to facebook and then getting sucked into the internet for another hour and a half in the morning. So yesterday I made a change. I set my alarm to get up an hour earlier and pulled myself out into the cold as far as the couch. I gave that hour to God. I prayed, I definitely dozed a bit more, I read, I watched the sun hit our front windows for the very first time that day and I felt ten thousand times better about everything else. I’m going to try to do this every day. Dedicate that time, and start my day with intention.

I know that I have been placed here on earth to love people well. My husband, my family, my friends, my couples, you all. I want you to know that’s my hearts cry.

So please forgive me for filling the blog with pretty instead of real for the past while and take this dose of my day-to-day with a promise of more. Once I get my head on straight I do want to talk more about what it’s like to work for myself (I’m definitely not a nice boss). I never want you to feel like I’m being disingenuous or shallow. I just haven’t quite found myself in this new stage yet so I’m having a harder time talking about it than I thought I would.

And because no post is completely without a picture…this is the pretty sunlight coming in through our front windows yesterday morning.

I never want to forget what this feels like.

THE EJP BLOG