I promised guest posts! Today we’re hearing from the lovely KT (whose wedding I am SO excited to be a bridesmaid in this June!!). You probably remember her from their fun cooking engagement pictures last spring! XXOO
Emilia asked me to write about my thoughts on planning for marriage versus planning a wedding, or stress-free wedding planning, and as an engaged, soon-to-be-bride in the middle of planning my own wedding, I honestly find that those two topics go hand in hand. My fiancé and I decided to have a long engagement (fifteen months), which has inherently taken some stress off our plate since we have more time to do everything, but it has also really set the tone for our attitude towards wedding plans. We are only going to be engaged once, so why rush this time in our lives! It is important to us to truly enjoy this exciting time, live in the moment, and plan for the marriage we want to have. Here are a couple pieces of advice and things that we do to make sure that wedding planning doesn’t take over our lives so we can focus on our relationship and upcoming marriage.
Take Breaks From Wedding Planning
Just because you are engaged doesn’t mean that everything should now be wedding related. Sure, going to tastings and working on projects can be fun, but make sure to spend time talking about and doing things that have always been of interest to the two of you. So many times I hear about couples feeling bored or anxious after the wedding because so much energy and effort was put towards the wedding plans and was distracting from the actual relationship. Can you imagine how sick of our wedding my fiancé, and myself for that matter, would be if I talked about it and the plans all the time for fifteen months? Manage your time to make sure that you still have time to do pursue your interests and hobbies together because those are the things that you will continue to bond over and grow in together for all the years to come.
Know Your Limits and Set Realistic Expectations
With channels like Pinterest, Instagram, and the blogosphere, the wedding world has really opened up in terms of sharing ideas and getting visually inspired. It can be really easy to get swept up in the wedding planning clouds where every single details is picture-perfect, but it is important to know your limits, and set realistic expectations for yourself. Figure out if projects, vendors, and details are monetarily doable, and see if the amount of time, money, and effort will be worth the outcome. Sure, homemade mini pie favors in individually wrapped boxes tied off with ribbons and tags are a beautiful touch that would honor your guests, but is that time spent slaving away in the kitchen the day before your wedding day really worth it? Ask yourself these questions: In five years, will I look back and wish I had spent that time with my fiancé and family? Will my guests even notice these details? Answer honestly and pursue projects accordingly.
Accept That Things Will Go Wrong
Whether you’re planning a 300-person bonanza or a 30-person gathering, it’s important to understand that things won’t always go as planned, and you can’t always make everyone completely happy. Plans will fall through, adding more work back onto your plate, and when you’re planning an event where you want to honor and love all your guests, it can be difficult to take their disappointment in stride. You can only control the way you react in these situations, and being sad, angry, or disappointed will take away from your and your fiancé’s own joy in this exciting time. Work together, split responsibilities, enlist help, and work as a team. And remember that your wedding is just one day, and stressing over the small things is comparatively small next to a lifetime with your spouse!